| # | Unlocked | Locked | Name | Beschreibung | Spieler | Global |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |
|
| EMO | Injure yourself. | 77 | 68.2% |
| 2 |
|
| DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTON! | Disobey orders, given to you, and see what happens. | 82 | 65.5% |
| 3 |
|
| THE CHOICE WAS YOURS! | Choose path for the first time. | 37 | 32.4% |
| 4 |
|
| REPO MAN | Return Thegways to the owner | 27 | 20.5% |
| 5 |
|
| SPECIAL OLYMPIAN | Beat the game once. No restrictions apply. Everyone's a winner. | 17 | 16.3% |
| 6 |
|
| NEUROSURGEON | 300 headshot/decap kills. | 19 | 13.4% |
| 7 |
|
| SCOFIELD | Escape from prison. | 13 | 12.4% |
| 8 |
|
| AIN'T GOT COJONES! | Finish your business with Krotchy. | 14 | 12.2% |
| 9 |
|
| SCHWARZENEGGER | 200 kills using M-60. | 13 | 10.2% |
| 10 |
|
| SAYANARA, TREE HUGGERS | Arrest eco zealots leader. | 15 | 8.7% |
| 11 |
|
| COMMIES GO HOME! | Make Venezuela peacemakers go home. | 12 | 8.3% |
| 12 |
|
| ALL PERPS MUST DIE! | Take out all the criminal scum infesting Catharsis! | 14 | 8.1% |
| 13 |
|
| DON'T TAZE ME BRO | Taze 200 victims. | 10 | 7.7% |
| 14 |
|
| DANNY TREJO | 100 kills using machete in melee. | 14 | 7.6% |
| 15 |
|
| SUCKTASTIC! | Suck up 500 items with the shop vac. | 12 | 7% |
| 16 |
|
| WOLVERINES R GHEY | 50 badgersaw kills. | 12 | 6.2% |
| 17 |
|
| FAIL ZOMBIE | Respawn 20 times. | 9 | 5.7% |
| 18 |
|
| T.J. HOOKER | Arrest 200 perps. | 8 | 5.2% |
| 19 |
|
| PSYCHO DUNDEE | 50 kills using boomerang machete. | 10 | 5.2% |
| 20 |
|
| PROPERTY DAMAGE | Smash 50 windows. | 10 | 4.6% |
| 21 |
|
| PRODUCT RECALL | Destroy 50 cars. | 8 | 4.5% |
| 22 |
|
| CAMELBACK | Piss 100 gallons of urine. | 9 | 4.3% |
| 23 |
|
| CAT WRANGLER | 50 kills using cat. | 9 | 4% |
| 24 |
|
| REAL AMERICAN | Kill/incapacitate 235 terrorists. | 7 | 3.9% |
| 25 |
|
| KAVORKIAN | Euthanise 30 elderly folks. | 7 | 3.8% |
| 26 |
|
| I AM THE LAW | Complete Good path without falling off. | 6 | 3.8% |
| 27 |
|
| THERE IS NO SPOON | Spend 900 seconds or more in catnip bullet time. | 7 | 3.8% |
| 28 |
|
| ARSONIST | 150 kills using fire. | 8 | 3.7% |
| 29 |
|
| ENTOMOLOGIST | 50 kills using bees. | 7 | 3.7% |
| 30 |
|
| PETA CHAIRMAN | Kill no animals in one playthrough. | 6 | 3.7% |
| 31 |
|
| JACK THOMPSON WAS RIGHT | Kill 1000 unarmed bystanders. | 7 | 3.7% |
| 32 |
|
| DADDY NEVER LOVED ME | Complete game killing only males. | 6 | 3.6% |
| 33 |
|
| EASTWOOD | Complete game using only the pistol. | 4 | 3.5% |
| 34 |
|
| PERSONAL JESUS | Beat game with zero kills.n(zombies and bosses don't count) | 6 | 3.5% |
| 35 |
|
| STALLONE | Complete game using only melee. | 7 | 3.4% |
| 36 |
|
| BIPOLAR | Swap paths 5 times in one playthrough. | 5 | 2.6% |
| 37 |
|
| MEGA-SADIST | 200 injured or death-crawling victims NOT finished off. | 4 | 2.5% |
| 38 |
|
| CHAMP WHISPERER | 50 kills using dog. | 5 | 2.5% |