# | Unlocked | Locked | Name | Beschreibung | Spieler | Global |
1
|
|
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R. Kelly's Protege
|
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
|
580
|
66%
|
2
|
|
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Friend of Dorothy
|
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
|
523
|
61.2%
|
3
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|
|
Well, aren't YOU a badass
|
Kicked open a door.
|
478
|
55.7%
|
4
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|
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Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
|
Survived Monday.
|
444
|
51.3%
|
5
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|
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Duck Dynasty
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Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
|
477
|
51.1%
|
6
|
|
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Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
|
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
|
430
|
48.6%
|
7
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|
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Here, Wilfred
|
Gained your first dog helper.
|
390
|
46.9%
|
8
|
|
|
Officer McLovin'
|
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
|
397
|
44.6%
|
9
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|
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I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
|
Put out someone that's on fire.
|
365
|
37.1%
|
10
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|
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It's sterile and I like the taste
|
Sucked down your own piss.
|
336
|
36.2%
|
11
|
|
|
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
|
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
|
288
|
33.5%
|
12
|
|
|
C U Next Tuesday
|
Survived Tuesday.
|
286
|
32.6%
|
13
|
|
|
Finkle IS Einhorn!
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Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
|
319
|
32.2%
|
14
|
|
|
Lieberman is our Leader!
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Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
|
277
|
30.4%
|
15
|
|
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It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
|
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
|
259
|
29.9%
|
16
|
|
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Fur Sure!
|
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
|
281
|
29.6%
|
17
|
|
|
Do you even Enzyte, bro?
|
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
|
256
|
26.8%
|
18
|
|
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OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
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Survived Wednesday.
|
233
|
26.4%
|
19
|
|
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Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
|
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
|
218
|
24%
|
20
|
|
|
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
|
Survived Thursday.
|
189
|
20.7%
|
21
|
|
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And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
|
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
|
185
|
20.5%
|
22
|
|
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OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
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Roasted 30 people with fire.
|
180
|
19.8%
|
23
|
|
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Where's Mr. McGibblets?
|
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
|
167
|
18.6%
|
24
|
|
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GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
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Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
|
195
|
18.5%
|
25
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|
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I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
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Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
|
165
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18.4%
|
26
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|
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Workin' for the Weekend
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Survived Friday.
|
157
|
17.7%
|
27
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|
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Gotta pay the Troll Toll
|
|
179
|
17%
|
28
|
|
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Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
|
Killed over 1,000 people.
|
153
|
17%
|
29
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|
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Can't Touch This
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Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
|
150
|
15.9%
|
30
|
|
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Door Mat
|
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
|
149
|
15.3%
|
31
|
|
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FAB-U-LOUS!
|
Wore all three outfits.
|
139
|
14.6%
|
32
|
|
|
Screw Bill Lumbergh!
|
Survived Saturday.
|
130
|
14.1%
|
33
|
|
|
Darth Maul'd!
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Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
|
135
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13.4%
|
34
|
|
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You are not alone
|
|
133
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13.2%
|
35
|
|
|
Paid the Piper
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Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
|
119
|
12.9%
|
36
|
|
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I'm not even supposed to be here today!
|
|
77
|
12.6%
|
37
|
|
|
Chuck Norris'd!
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Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
|
128
|
11.1%
|
38
|
|
|
A-Rod Who?
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Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
|
116
|
10.7%
|
39
|
|
|
I swear, I thought it was a home fill
|
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
|
107
|
10.5%
|
40
|
|
|
There's always money in the banana stand
|
|
110
|
9.8%
|
41
|
|
|
Shiva Blast
|
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
|
105
|
9.8%
|
42
|
|
|
Rebecca Black's Nightmare
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Totaled 30 cars.
|
106
|
9.6%
|
43
|
|
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I Am Legend
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Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
|
100
|
9.5%
|
44
|
|
|
Anger Management With Roger Clemens
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Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
|
98
|
9.5%
|
45
|
|
|
Thanks for the money!
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Finished all seven days.
|
100
|
9.4%
|
46
|
|
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RAFIBOMB!!!
|
Kicked 10 people in the balls.
|
71
|
9.3%
|
47
|
|
|
Reddit would be proud.
|
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
|
109
|
9.2%
|
48
|
|
|
Rick Grimes 4 Life
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Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
|
97
|
9.2%
|
49
|
|
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I should buy a boat
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Read the newspaper every day.
|
90
|
8.8%
|
50
|
|
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Running With Scissors
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Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
|
100
|
8.7%
|
51
|
|
|
Chapelle's Show
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Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
|
104
|
8.5%
|
52
|
|
|
Found 'em faster than GWB
|
|
100
|
8.4%
|
53
|
|
|
GABAGOOOOOL!
|
Reunited with an old friend.
|
79
|
8.3%
|
54
|
|
|
Señor Cornballer
|
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
|
94
|
8.3%
|
55
|
|
|
John Rambo'd!
|
|
77
|
7.7%
|
56
|
|
|
Holocaust: Part Deux
|
Reunited with an old enemy.
|
69
|
6.9%
|
57
|
|
|
One time, at band camp...
|
Saved the marching band from explody death.
|
79
|
6.5%
|
58
|
|
|
Cesar Millan is Very Happy
|
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
|
79
|
6.5%
|
59
|
|
|
Ginger Mint
|
|
58
|
6.2%
|
60
|
|
|
Rain on your Wedding Day
|
Reunited with an old flame.
|
64
|
6.2%
|
61
|
|
|
I don't need virgins for this
|
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
|
90
|
6.1%
|
62
|
|
|
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
|
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
|
56
|
5.6%
|
63
|
|
|
Don't taze me, bro!
|
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
|
69
|
5.5%
|
64
|
|
|
Uncle T-Bag
|
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
|
67
|
5.4%
|
65
|
|
|
Pussy on a Pedestal
|
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
|
70
|
5.3%
|
66
|
|
|
Hello, Newman
|
Kicked 30 dogs.
|
64
|
5%
|
67
|
|
|
Gettin DP'd
|
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
|
49
|
4.9%
|
68
|
|
|
Fear and Loathing
|
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
|
51
|
4.8%
|
69
|
|
|
Ape Gape
|
|
43
|
4.7%
|
70
|
|
|
BioShocked
|
Spent $2000 on vending machines.
|
53
|
4.7%
|
71
|
|
|
Dick Message
|
|
43
|
4.6%
|
72
|
|
|
Better than POSTAL III
|
Rescued your loyal companion.
|
48
|
4.6%
|
73
|
|
|
SCREW that game!
|
|
61
|
4.5%
|
74
|
|
|
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
|
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
|
59
|
4.4%
|
75
|
|
|
Planet of the Apes: The Musical
|
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
|
54
|
4.2%
|
76
|
|
|
Anustart!
|
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
|
45
|
4.1%
|
77
|
|
|
Gary vs. The K. Man
|
|
52
|
4.1%
|
78
|
|
|
Ladies Love Cake
|
|
45
|
3.9%
|
79
|
|
|
Hobo Sexual
|
|
45
|
3.8%
|
80
|
|
|
40 Year Old Virgin
|
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
|
44
|
3.8%
|
81
|
|
|
PooMasher
|
|
43
|
3.7%
|
82
|
|
|
Rich on Reddit
|
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
|
44
|
3.7%
|
83
|
|
|
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
|
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
|
45
|
3.6%
|
84
|
|
|
Ode to Eddings
|
|
35
|
3.4%
|
85
|
|
|
Scientology Level: OT VIII
|
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
|
39
|
3.4%
|
86
|
|
|
You Snow Nothing John Blow
|
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
|
38
|
3.4%
|
87
|
|
|
My Name is Jesus
|
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
|
29
|
3.1%
|
88
|
|
|
Adderall4All
|
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
|
29
|
3.1%
|
89
|
|
|
Harder than r/gonewild
|
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
|
30
|
3.1%
|